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inadazeenlasnubes

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Hey!

4 min read


Hey! I'm so sorry that I haven't uploaded anything or written a journal in SOO long! I struggle to find the drive to draw and paint, so I've been drawing much less for a while now. I went to America over Christmas, to stay with my cousin in Florida, which was amazing fun! We weren't sure if I would be able to go, because my OCD made it almost impossible for me to even think of going. I couldn't dress myself, or use public toilets, and couldn't deal with being out all day, even half an hour was really hard for me. But I was determined to go, so I told myself that I wasn't going to let it stop me, and it didn't :)
Life is so much easier now that I can get dressed and use public toilets, but now I'm trying to overcome my Social Anxiety Disorder, which was what caused the OCD, so this is probably gonna be much harder :( but one day at a time :)
anyway, I hope you like the new stuff I uploaded, and thanks SO much to all my followers, old and new! :hug:
have an amazingly fantastic day :D

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11/9/01

7 min read
SEP­TEM­BER
11, 2011
DECADE

Ten years ago I was 16 years old and still in high school. Ten years ago I was ap­proached out­side of the Vi­sual Media room by a good friend and he told me that some­one had ac­ci­den­tally flown a Cessna into the World Trade Cen­ter. Ten years ago I passed fel­low stu­dents in the halls, some obliv­i­ous and some I caught with tears in their eyes, elbow deep in their lock­ers and grab­bing their car keys.
Ten years ago I heard an an­nounce­ment that a plane had in­deed hit the World Trade Cen­ter. But it wasn't a Cessna.
I re­mem­ber classes being can­celed. Some stu­dents went home. Some stayed. Teach­ers came and went. The prin­ci­pal walked through the halls, worry cross­ing his eyes and his hands wring­ing to­gether like a junkie look­ing for a fix.
I re­mem­ber stand­ing in my high school's empty halls and lis­ten­ing to the tele­vi­sions echo the same thing.
I re­mem­ber talk­ing to stu­dents that had fam­ily in the Trade Cen­ter, their tears stain­ing shirt sleeves and the tops of thighs, hold­ing them and try­ing to calm their hol­low sobs, try­ing to keep them from shak­ing away and onto the floor.
I re­mem­ber dri­ving through town that night and look­ing at all of the bar­ren roads. Some were out­side hold­ing signs. Pass­ing dri­vers would honk and yell "God Bless Amer­ica!" and the sign hold­ers would wave their tiny flags.
The only thing I re­ally re­mem­ber from my sopho­more year of high school was that day. I don't re­mem­ber Thanks­giv­ing or the girl I dated or the mem­o­ries and kisses that we shared. I don't re­mem­ber Christ­mas or my grand­par­ents or my friends and what we did after school.
How strange it is that mem­ory works against us. We rally to­gether and say "Never For­get" and we salute the flag and tear up at the sight of the Twin Tow­ers burn­ing and watch­ing the bod­ies fall from the bro­ken win­dows and see­ing the peo­ple run­ning from the wreck­age, ash and blood coat­ing their skin and eyes. We tell each other that we are stronger than this and it won't stop Amer­ica from pre­vail­ing against its at­tack­ers and those that wish to bring us to our knees.
One day de­fined a decade and will con­tinue to de­fine our lives and our coun­try and the mem­o­ries that we want to re­mem­ber, but can't, be­cause one day sticks out and bleeds on our eyes.
I've been to Ground Zero a few times since the at­tack. I've walked out of the sub­way, di­rectly across from where the Twin Tow­ers used to stand. I've watched the ma­chines and the men clear­ing away de­bris, Amer­i­can flags flap­ping qui­etly in the breeze. I've talked to count­less peo­ple about that one day, try­ing to find out if they are like me, re­call­ing every de­tail about that day.
I could tell you what I was wear­ing that day. I could tell you word for word what was said to me by other peo­ple be­fore we all watched the news and found out for our­selves. I could tell you what color the sky was and what was writ­ten on the white board in front of the Vi­sual Media room. I could tell you what the man stand­ing in front of the restau­rant looked like, all the way down to his cam­ou­flage vest that was dot­ted with pins and his black trucker cap with the yel­low let­ter­ing, old and worn from time. I could tell you that my mom or­dered crab cakes and a salad with blue cheese dress­ing and that she was wear­ing a green tur­tle neck and navy jeans.
I've talked to many peo­ple about that day. Most of them say they re­mem­ber watch­ing the tele­vi­sion. They re­mem­ber see­ing the sec­ond plane hit dur­ing the live feed. They re­mem­ber not being able to con­tact their fam­ily mem­bers that were trapped in­side the tow­ers.
They re­mem­ber and I am de­tached from all of that emo­tion and as I sit here and write this, I can't help but ask my­self if I missed out on the great tragedy that shaped our coun­try into what it is today. If I missed all of the things that re­ally mat­tered only to wal­low in the mean­ing­less things and for­get the im­por­tant things.
It's a ter­ri­ble thing. So I at­tach my­self to the pain of oth­ers. I at­tach my­self to the im­ages that plague oth­ers in their dreams and bring them scream­ing from sleep, cry­ing and hold­ing fast to the pil­low that should be the one they lost.
I didn't re­ally lose any­thing but my heart hurts for those that did. I've seen the tears and the an­guish. I've seen the night­mares and the emo­tion and the loss and the hurt and the pain. I've seen it and I at­tach my­self to that, hop­ing it brings me one step closer to feel­ing some­thing I missed.
I won't for­get that day and I don't want to. I just feel like I'm miss­ing some­thing. Maybe that some­thing is the day that should have been lived by every­one af­fected.
Maybe we're all miss­ing the last ten years that should have been dis­cov­ered through the eyes of those that were lost in the planes and the tow­ers.
-------------

i didn't write this, is saw it on the internet, and thought it was amazing, i hope you like it.

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R.I.P to all those who died on 11/9/01

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Truth ,]

5 min read
i just saw this and wanted to do it :)

1. Tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? ---  i don't like anyone right now - wow that makes me feel like a bore :/
2. What on your body is hurting or bothering you? ---  my tummy
3. What was your last thought before going to bed last night? --- i cant remember...
4. What are you listening right now? ---  christina grimmie :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEXO7y…
5. Do you like meeting new people? --- kiind of
6. Where do you think your best friend is right now? --- school
7. Have you kissed anybody in the last 5 days? --- no
8. Sex on the first date? --- no
9. Kiss on the first date? --- yeh
10. Is there one person you want to be with right now? --- tonnes of people :(
11. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? --- life is hard :(
12. Is there something you would like to say to someone? --- nothing comes to mind :)
13. What are three things you did today? got dressed, wrote in my book, helped my mum make cupcakes
14. Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over? --- have them come over
15. What is your favorite kind of gum? --- trident
16. Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends? --- no
17. Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? --- yeah
18. Ever liked someone you thought you didn't stand a chance with? --- yes
19. Does anyone have strong feelings for you? --- idk
20. Are you slowly drifting away from someone? --- i hope not ;(
21. Have you ever wasted your time on someone? --- yep
22. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? --- i used to be able to
23. How have you felt today? --- awesome! xP
24. You receive $60 without any reason, what do you spend it on? clothes and itunes ;D
25. Are you afraid of falling in love? --- no
26. Ever liked someone older than you? --- yeh
27. Would you rather have Starbucks or Jamba Juice right now? --- starbucks, idk what that other thing is :)
28. Why aren't you in 'love' with your last ex anymore? --- we're too different
29. How late did you stay up last night and why? --- 10 o clock :) cos i need my sleep dammit!
30. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? yesterday
31. What were you doing an hour ago? --- listening to the complete guide to everything :D
32. What are you looking forward to in the next month? ---  settling into my new house! xD
33. Are you wearing jeans right now? --- no
34. Are you a patient person? --- no
35. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? --- maybe, yeh. idk
36. Favorite color? --- black and blue
37. Did you have a dream last night? --- yeh but i cant remember it now :(
38. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? --- no
39. If someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be? --- my friends
40. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? yeah it made me feel speshul :iconadorableplz:

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Features again!

6 min read
I really love using colour pencils now! and I'm trying to do photography, but I don't really know that much about it so.... :)

features
'We''ll Use our Eyes instead' by VampyprincessRDEB ksenia by kseshka:thumb192545859: Silhouette in the Rain by dannyst . by Kvikken Spirited by Kvikken My emotional breakdown by FurtiveLungs:thumb188361497: The other side by Kvikken Memories by GioGrana Stepback by WRDBNR Maja by Jakob-123:thumb186661970: the world is not enough by juliatrotti:thumb251644163::thumb203302993: F R E E D O M by jiegle over by jiegle
i hope u like them :)

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Hey! Today I was at the supermarket, and my mum was packing up the shopping. There was a lovely little old lady and she looked at me and smiled. It made me feel so happy! She gave me an idea. Whenever I go in public I'm going to try to smile at at least one person, because you never know - you could make their day. Then I decided that I'm gonna try to get other people to do this too, you know just for fun and to spread some love in this sometimes solitary world :heart: If you want to do this too, I invite you to!
Even if they don't smile back, it still counts! When the LOL (little old lady) smiled at me, if made me feel like I knew her and made me feel warm and loved, even though I'd never seen her before!

Here's some smiles!

:thumb40741806: Smile by diehappy-x smile by illusion-clik Smile by bayb-kiedis Smile by The-Dragon-Of-Whi Good Reason to Smile by Almairis Sweet Smile by Hotmane:thumb58623360: SMILE by CuriouslyEm SMILE by TheSweetBlackMadness sMiLe by epack A Smile Can Say A Lot by enticing-essence Smile by no-preview Smile. by RomanceOnTheTarmac:thumb41231974: Smile by Fudgee0 A smile by wtamas Smile by Wings-Of-A-Messiah Smile by morgueprincess

Please fave this article so that more people will find out about it!
Thanks for reading!
P.S  You are beautiful, don't ever forget that.
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Featured

Hey! by inadazeenlasnubes, journal

11/9/01 by inadazeenlasnubes, journal

Truth ,] by inadazeenlasnubes, journal

Features again! by inadazeenlasnubes, journal

My Fears by inadazeenlasnubes, journal